Saturday, May 17, 2008
Desert Rat Versus Fascist Scum
"May your glory ever shine, May your laurels never fade, May the memory of this glorious pilgrimage of war you have made from Alamein, via the Baltic to Berlin never die. It is a march unsurpassed through all the story of war. May the fathers long tell the children about this tale ."
Alas, that was not to be as the garbage-fascists now running the Norwich City Council have declared war on a 96 year-old veteran:
A council refused to collect rubbish from a 95-year-old war veteran who is nearly blind - because he put a ketchup bottle in the wrong bin.
Lenny Woodward, a former Desert Rat who has lived in the same house for 58 years, was confused by a new regime of fortnightly collections and rigid recycling rules.
Residents have a blue wheelie bin for cans and cardboard, a green box for glass and a black bin for other waste.
Mr Woodward made the mistake of putting the ketchup bottle and a coffee jar in the blue bin when they should have gone in the green box.
Mr Woodward was a railway worker for nearly 50 years but spent five years as a gunner in the Desert Rats, serving in North Africa and Italy during the Second World War.
A couple of friends of mine have sent alternative dialogs to this latest contest between freedom and fascism:
1: -Vas ist dat?
-that's garbage
-Das ist not, das ist dur hope of munkund, das ist dur futre
-what?
-Fhool, dur pafers say dat u r outen of order, vhat r u tinkin, ya?
-Huh? garbage goes in the bin, no?
-my got dat ist dur wrong bin, das will upsit da balance of order!
-go away
-nein arrist dis trayter, rules vill be followed, ya, u vill do dat. Seig Heil! Long liv der rules! long liv der motherland! long liv der bin-laden land!!!!!!!!!
2: Rule must be obeyed. The alternative is starvation. Or community service. Or jail."
"But I served in WWII! I was a Desert Rat! I killed a lot of Nazi bastards! I did my bloody service!"
"That was then. This is now."
"I've a good mind to pot you, you bloody Nazi! Where's my gun??"
"I shall report you to the authorities. You have no right to own a gun to protect yourself against the likes of me."
"You're a bloody Hun, that's the likes of you. Get the hell out of there!"
"I have more right to be in your home than you have. Take it up with the magistrate."
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